When a bully victimizes students, you can often find significant personal consequences, including feelings of isolation and humiliation. And yet, many kids that are targeted don’t tell anyone concerning the bullying. Shame and Embarrassment
Bullying is approximately power and control, and being targeted can cause kids to feel powerless or weak. For all kids, this creates feelings of intense shame and embarrassment. If a kid is being bullied because of something they’re already sensitive about, such as a physical attribute or an accusation about something they did, they will often be too embarrassed to speak about it.
Concern with Retaliation
Often, kids feel just like reporting a bully won’t do any good. Not merely do they think powerless, but they also worry that the bully will make their lives worse should they speak up. 40% of bullied kids report that individuals who targeted them were bigger and physically stronger, while 56% report that those driving them could influence other students’ perceptions of them.
Many kiddies would prefer to make an effort to weather the storm alone than chance escalating the problem. Sometimes, they also feel that when they hold calm, the bullying may fundamentally end. If they talk to a grown-up, it is frequently with the offer that they’ll not record the situation or do anything about it.
Worry About Making It Worse
Once you discover your youngster is being bullied, it’s natural to respond with the desire to do something right away. However, your tendency toward jumping in to correct problems will be the very reason your kid hesitates to get you involved. Kids may fear parents are likely to make a scene. To mitigate your kid’s potential worry, it’s very important to temper your immediate reaction and not jump into action, particularly regarding contacting their school or other involved parties.
Desire for Acceptance
Often, kids feel just like they need to accept occasional bullying to belonging. Consequently, they will succumb to peer pressure and take bullying as a means to keep up their social standing steadfastly. This combination of peer pressure and bullying often exists in cliques.
Kids that are victimized often yearn for acceptance from the individuals who are bullying them. To remain the main group, they may tolerate fake friendships and mean behavior—especially when the person driving them features a higher social standing than they do. 50% of bullied students ages 12 to 18 reports that individuals who forced them do have more social influence, and 31% indicate that they also had more money.
Concern About Being Believed
Often, bullies are the kids that teachers and parents would least suspect—the popular ones, succeed in college, or have a higher social position in the community. Subsequently, when these young ones simply out someone who’s in some trouble a whole lot, susceptible to storytelling, or has disciplinary issues, it is natural for the student being bullied to assume no one will believe them.
These kids are usually very alert to the fact they’re sometimes in some trouble, and they’re afraid that others will assume that they’re lying or rendering it up. They may keep quiet simply because they believe opening up would not do any good—no one would believe them over this other, highly-favored student.
Kids tend to be very aware of these faults. Consequently, if someone zeroes in on some of those faults and uses it to taunt and tease them, many kids will automatically assume which they deserve the treatment. When a youngster is excessively self-critical or lacks self-esteem, they could find which they concur with the bully’s taunts and, consequently, take poor people treatment.
Failure to Recognize Bullying
Physical bullying is straightforward to identify and, therefore, more probably be reported. On the other hand, more subtle kinds of bullying like relational aggression are likely to go unlabeled and unreported. Kids may not recognize that spreading rumors, ostracizing others, and sabotaging relationships may also be kinds of bullying.
Because of this, parents and educators must speak to kids about what constitutes bullying. Make sure that your kids know that healthy friendships and relationships involve mutual respect and support. Even subtle behaviors like teasing can morph into bullying.